By Shelia Allen
VANCOUVER, Wash. — Couples seeking help in their marriage or those who want premarital coaching have a new resource available in the Portland metropolitan and Southwest Washington area with the help of an organization called MarriageTeam.
The nonprofit ministry is led by executive director Alan Ray, who retired at the University of Portland after27 years as an Air Force officer and then development work for Multnomah County, Ore. Marriage Team, which began in 2001, provides coaching for couples who are stuck in a rut and need to develop different skills in their marriage, or couples planning to be married who want to start off on a good foundation. "We have developed a step by step guide and offer 24 hours of training for volunteer couples who want to make a difference in the lives of others," Ray said. "Our coaches have found it to be a blessing to their own lives, and especially rewarding to help another couple. We teach them skills that allow them to train couples in conversation skills and conflict resolution and how to apply it directly to their lives."
Couples seeking services from the Marriage Team pay a fee of $160 for the 8 to 12 two hour sessions which includes a money back guarantee if they are not satisfied. "
Ray is seeking to increase the number of equipping coaches and couples seeking services to slow the tide of divorce.
"The cost of the social impact alone is $25,000 to $30,000 per family," Ray said. "This includes factors such as children's behavior or welfare moms, among other things. Christian couples commit to our ministry to make a difference in their community,"
While three couples have come to faith in Christ as a result of the coaching, there are no faith-based requirements to seek services from Marriage Team. An initial screening inventory is completed to illuminate destructive behaviors such as addictions, pornography or illicit affairs that need the help of therapeutic counselors.
"Our coaches are not trained to handle issues where sexual addictions are involved," Ray said. "And while we do not require couples to profess Christianity, we don't make excuses for our Christian-based material. If a couple is opposed to that portion, that's okay, because we don't have to quote scripture to tell them of good principles. We are respectful of where each couple is coming from."
Ray has found solid results from relationships between coaches and couples. Coaches come alongside and pray for the couple, and couples know the coaches care about their success and want to meet their expectations.
Pastors who are often overwhelmed with requests for counseling have found MarriageTeam helpful in meeting these demands. Statistics have shown that couples who have eight hours of premarital training show a 30 percent less divorce rate.
"I can't believe we are actually still together and how great things are," said one woman who participated in marriage coaching."My husband remembers what to say and quotes things from our coaching. The word divorce is no longer mentioned in our house."
The MarriageTeam will have a booth at the annual gathering of the Northwest Baptist Convention November 11-12 at the Red Lion Hotel on the River in Portland, Ore., and those interested are encouraged to stop by their station. For more information contact Ray at 360.450.6042 or www.marriageteam.org.
