Couples’ Frequently Asked Questions 2017-03-03T01:21:22+00:00

Couples’ Frequently Asked Questions

You can share responses to some common objections .   You can also ask your husband/wife to call our office. All coaching is with the man and woman together, never individually. However, even if he/she refuses to come, you can still change the dynamics of your relationship simply by making changes in the way you respond and react to them.   Thus, you will bring about changes in the relationship by addressing your own issues and making personal progress. We can refer you for individual counseling if you would like to work on how you respond in your marriage.

Many couples come to coaching just prior to going to see a divorce lawyer and are amazed at the results. This is what one wife shared:

“This was the last straw. If coaching didn’t work, it would have been divorce. Before coaching, I was stressed out and burned out. Our marriage was unhealthy and dysfunctional. I often thought it would be better if we divorced. Coaching was truly an answer to prayer. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was salve on a deep wound. We now have hope. My husband is not my enemy. We are communicating better, respecting more, work as a team and are dating again. This program is rock solid. I can’t think of anything to make it better. Just get it out there for others to hear about.

Do you really WANT a divorce or do you just want to be happy again?  What do you have to lose?  If coaching doesn’t work, you can always pursue the divorce.

Marriage coaching is not about who is right or wrong.  Explain it this way: We all grow up on different teams and learn the plays (how we communicate, handle anger, resolve conflict, address hurts, our expectations, etc.) that work on our team.  We get married and create a new team.  Unfortunately, we bring our old playbook and do not share it effectively with our new teammate.  Marriage coaches help your team create a common playbook so you can create a healthy marriage.  Coaches are on the “side” of the marriage and the assumption is neither spouse is right or wrong, just different.

Yes, it is worth it.  The problem is not that either one of you are the problem.  The problem is that you are different and it is the differences and inability to effectively address them that causes the problem.  Marriage coaching creates a common understanding of the issues you face together and a framework for resolving them.  It helps you work together more effectively as a team.

It is entirely up to you. Marriage coaching is a form of help that has saved many other marriages.  You and your teammate will be given tools that will improve the quality of your marriage.  Your coaches will help you create the understandings and accountability you need to use the tools and be successful, but you will need to apply the tools to get the results.

Marriage Coaching works well for husbands and wives who want to and are capable of changing. Bad patterns of communication are hard to change, but when teammates make good faith efforts to live up to their agreements, we see remarkable changes. Marriage coaching is not effective when addictions, on-going affairs, mental health issues, domestic violence, emotional abuse, or depression are involved.  Once these issues are being addressed by trained professionals, coaching can be very effective in helping a couple develop an improved marriage.

MarriageTeam coaching is extremely affordable.  It costs $ 399 for up to 12, 2+ hour sessions or less than $14 per hour when you consider the inventory and workbooks are also included in this price.  Furthermore,  there is a money back guarantee that says, if you believe you did not get your money’s worth from your coaching experience and put it in writing, we will refund your money with the exception of the inventory and material costs ($75).

Coaching is confidential and coaches only address what you bring up.  The couples who see the best results are those who are open and honest.  Coaches cannot help you create solutions to issues that are not discussed.

Marriage coaching focuses specifically on helping a couple better understand one another and move to creating agreements about what they will do differently to get different results.  Coaching addresses listening to understand, anger, bitterness, forgiveness, resolving conflict, solving problems, dealing with differences, intimacy and moving forward.  Coaching takes you from where you are to where you want to be.  Coaches do not give advice; they do help you determine what will work for you.   Counseling often looks at the past to help you better understand the present.  Counselors are trained to diagnose and tend to look at relationships from more of a medical model where they diagnose and prescribe (give advice).  At MarriageTeam we refer addictions, abuse, mental health issues, and depression to counselors who are trained to deal with these uncoachable issues.

In-person MarriageTeam coaching is available wherever our active coaches reside. Coaching is also available in most states (and internationally) via Skype or video conferencing where there are no residing coaches.  Video conference style coaching is just as effective as in-person coaching. However, services are currently not offered in California, Delaware, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maine, New Mexico, Ohio, South Dakota, Vermont, West Virginia, or Wyoming.  Please check with our office for more details at 360-450-6042 or info@marriageteam.org

FAQ Couples